Why do I use a daily stream-of-conscious microblog—what am I supposed to be getting out of this, what are you, random browser, supposed to get out of this? It’s easy to say it’s because I want attention, but getting attention can actually be pretty horrifying as well, so let’s say it’s more complex than that. Let’s say that a part of it is because even when I’m at work, or at some social get-together of a more formal variety, I can’t always figure out if anyone, at all, is being genuine with me. If anyone around me is real. I don’t mean this in a solipsistic way, but that I will be at that moment experiencing a complex medley of emotions and memories that don’t match up at all with the script I feel I need to work through. So, in a state of confusion, I read through the script while being painfully aware that someone is reading their sketchy script at me too.
On Twitter, sometimes, you can find very real people. Honest, confused, mistake-making, talented, scared, excited, loving, hating human beings in real time, looking at a screen that can somewhat neutralize that script. You know, in between the joke formulas. And the people pandering at low points which are equivalent to other people’s dreams.
When I find someone who I can relate with, who seems real, I feel relief, like, “Phew! Thank god, I’m not just some feeling freakshow, and other people also are bewildered/impressed/terrified of this weird LIFE thing.”
Audrey, or @singing_ghosts, is one of the awesome people. I’ve interviewed her below as part of Bec Interviews Twitter Users You May or May Not Have Heard Of, which I started out of sheer boredom on a road trip and continue to still do. I’ve followed Audrey for a long time now, and simply put, her tweets are just really, really good—she’s a really interesting human being. She has a mix of prose, personal thoughts, music, art, brutal truths and funny jokes that I like best because of the morbid and sentimental blend. She seems to really care a lot about people, and she is wonderful to interact with on the webs. I am grateful that I found and follow her, and I think you should follow her too, if you don’t. She sells beautiful and interesting items at her Etsy shop, which is definitely worth checking out. Her music can also be listened to on this Dumpster Girls SoundCloud.
Why do you have an account on Twitter dot com?
My girlfriend at the time didn’t care about anything I said. She thought I was weird after 5 years together and just made me feel stupid a lot. In reality, her disorder started to take hold of her and I didn’t know that’s what was going on. I felt really bad about my personality, she was becoming more abusive, mostly emotionally, sometimes physically, and just wanted someone to be like “it’s okay audrey. you’re funny and loving!” I guess. So, here I am. Single and Logged On.
Where is the best place you have ever been?
I tripped hard and went to a place where the mountains moved like teeth grinding and every step I took felt like I was walking on the moon. that was cool. not under the influence? idk really. I’m trying to think of a “THIS WAS THE BEST DAY EVER” moment but I can’t. I guess the best place I’ve ever been was home when I came back to it.
What is your favorite song to sing?
Only Skin by Joanna Newsom but really anything Broadway or Joanna Newsom
Where do you get the items for your Etsy shop?
I make them or I get them from old dead women.
Drop a truth bomb, right here, right now.
I just told someone I was born a woman and started crying because they didn’t respond well to it. I have a really hard time with my gender identity and it’s one of the biggest struggles I face in my real life I very rarely discuss online.
What is your favorite movie?
This is an unfair question because it depends on genre, decade, actors, style, country. I lean towards horror and old Hollywood, a lot of musicals.
What’s in your Tinder bio?
ATM my bio says “I don’t wanna have sex I just wanna lick feet. I’ll pay. don’t bother getting to know me” lol
Who is your favorite musical artist?
Joanna Newsom!!!! but also Fiona Apple
What’s something that’s more important than everything else?
To me? Being accepted. Not like initiation accepted, even if that sounds pretty sexy. Just like, you know, feeling comfortable as myself.
What is a social issue that you are passionate about?
Is disarming rich white men in power considered a social issue? That’s what I’m passionate about.
Who is your favorite account on Twitter dot com?
@petfurniture!!!! She was one of the first people I followed. I always thought she was gentle and interesting and I felt this awful pain when I saw her tweets. She just knew what it was like to ache but as aware as I was that you’re not supposed to. It was reassuring for me, like, if this sweet girl, who could find warmth in what seems like a dark world, existed, I wasn’t alone in being hopeful and buried alive. I thought I was the only person who felt the way her tweets read to me. I had no idea what twitter would be like when I found her. It took me two years to get her to follow me back. I never interacted with her or made any attempt to let her know I existed, of course. She found me eventually and it was like a “God, finally” sigh.
What is your spirit animal, and why?
I don’t have a spirit animal and if I did it would definitely run away.
What is the scariest monster of all time?
Arousal and intoxication. The drunk and horny combination. When I’m drunk and horny, or on opiates, just stay away from me. What happens to me is one of the reasons I wanted to get sober, not to get all MY DEMONS!!! about it or anything. Real monsters? Probably sharks or aliens.
because THEY ARE REAL
What is a life lesson you feel you have learned thus far?
When you’re afraid of things and hide, nothing will happen to you, nothing bad, but nothing good. Eventually you have to stop playing it safe or you’ll end up like your least favorite parent. Also don’t masturbate after cutting jalapeños.
When you burst through your front door in the morning, ready to get to work, what theme song is playing while you walk purposefully into your day?
I’m technically self employed so I guess when I go to water my garden the song that plays would be “feed me” from little shop of horrors. In general, I think my theme song is ABBA’s “take a chance on me” or anything of theirs. Really pumps me up.
What is love?
Love is walking across the street when someone you don’t see is speeding and there’s this moment where you’re like oh my god am I gonna die or is this gonna hurt really fucking badly? You don’t die and it doesn’t hurt. They stop just in time and they probably yell at you a little bit and you finally breathe. That first breath is what love is.
If you were a baked good, what baked good would you be?
pumpkin pie cheesecake with brownie swirls
We both have had bee-related usernames—beekeeper, honeydrone—What diabolical plan can we concoct that involves bees? I feel like the two of us could wreak some havoc with some bees.
We would need @beehivesy, as she is the queen bee, IMO, for some sorta of Beemuda Triangle? A porn maybe??? Where we put a dude in the middle of us and sting him with knifes and you can fuck him to death if you want. Just like fuck the bloods and guts out faster because she doesn’t like gore to begin with and I don’t wanna have sex with anything or anyone, dead or alive. Back to the bees! You can ADOPT beehives! FOR HONEYBEES!! I just learned this recently. I’m sorry. I’m just thinking about our porn now. Thanks for having me.